Friendships can be … “like reading only the first page of one hundred different books—very unfulfilling! All of us should strive, therefore, to have some friendships that are deep and solid—so solid, for instance, that if they were interrupted, the unfinished conversation could be resumed months later almost in mid-sentence, just as if we had never been apart.”
All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience by Neal A. Maxwell
I’ve spent my adult life trying to be a better friend and trying to be more mindful about the friends I choose. I tend to be a giver, therefore I also tend to attract the takers. And that’s ok, I can set boundaries but more importantly choose to give because it’s right without expectations of receiving. And then when it comes to true, deep and lasting friendships ask myself questions that may feel uncomfortable at first- we are taught to love all, but in the end invite us to encircle ourselves and our family in safe arms of love from others.
Questions to Ask About Friendships
Do they have the same goals as me?
Do they reciprocate?
Are they gracious? Are they takers?
Do I feel drained from our conversations or drained from their needs?
Is it genuine?
Do I trust and am I able to assume the good about them and about their conversations with others when I’m not present?
Am I growing better because of our friendship?
On This Journey Together
As we embark on this new year I wonder if we could all remember that sometimes the hardest thing to mourn over is the loss of someone who’s still there, but is one of the most important things to let go of. Choose good friends. Help your children to do the same and slowly life will become more rich and satisfying purely because of those you are associating with, shoulder to shoulder, making this journey lighter and more fulfilling together.