The Secret is Out!

DISCLAIMER:::: Before reading this post or commenting please take a moment to read our story and understand what we’ve been through the past 5 months, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, it’s not Morning Sickness.

I cannot believe I’m even posting this picture, I’m horrible at selfies! Can you tell? I don’t know how the fashion bloggers do it. Anyway, ready for some updates? I’m 20 weeks. BOOM. Halfway done, baby!!! The bump is starting and I have a few thoughts. First, it’s awkward. Maybe it shouldn’t be, but whenever I’m out or post any pics it’s like everyone is glancing at the belly to investigate anything. And if I happen to be wearing something that bunches funny everyone goes crazy that I’m getting, “fluffy!” Haha, I know it’s a good thing, but it totally cracks me up so I thought I’d wear my tightest clothes and let everyone see that it’s coming. Unfortunately I feel like the picture doesn’t really do it justice, but again, worst selfie taker ever.

Also, I’m for sure the biggest I’ve been at this stage, which is totally weird! I know, the picture doesn’t show it well but it’s coming on fast this time. Crazy!

Then there’s baby. Oh, our sweet baby. Baby is measuring a little over a week behind which all of our kiddos have measure behind and arrived 2 weeks early. Not going to lie, I am totally hoping this one comes early too. I can’t imagine having to wait those two extra weeks. I know, total sob story right? But we are just so excited to have our little one here and as long as it’s a safe time we are ready to go! Baby prefers to be breech with feet down which is why I feel the kicks so crazy low. Hoping for head down by delivery although right now it looks like we are dealing with placenta previa so c-section is on the horizon unless by miracle it moves as I grow. We are praying really hard as I’d like to deliver just like I did with the other two.

And since everyone has asked here’s how life goes. I am nauseous all day and especially at night. Then I have good days and bad days. The bad days I am so sick and can’t eat but vomiting is still nothing like it was before and I often still leave the house if I need to. In fact, no matter how sick I am I put on a smile and charge ahead because I have to be grateful for this precious time. It’s not always easy, but I’ve learned that attitude does make a difference. Deciding ahead of time that I’m not alone, I can do this and there are blessings to be found each day has made it more endurable. I’ve learned a great lesson about choosing happiness even during darkness.

Oh, and I guess you want to know our big secret right? The girls have done an amazing job of keeping it quiet for over a month now (see, blessings from being sick means weekly ultrasounds and early gender reveal!) and we are so impressed. And no, it’s not twins, the girls just desperately wanted to do a “cute” reveal of gender and picked baseball caps. Unfortunately after hunting every store in Utah I discovered that it’s impossible to find baseball caps for little kids so we had to settle for these two orange ones.

We are having a boy! And I win hands down because since before I could even take the pregnancy test I’ve had this strong feeling that I was carrying a little boy. Our girls and Cade knew I felt so strongly that it was a little man in there and it was so fun to see it on the screen. Peace was filling the room and we all were full of so much joy I cannot even explain it. A little Cade. We are so in love. In fact, I cannot stop the tears from flowing. We are beyond humbled to have this opportunity. Now to figure out names…