My heart starting to clench and my jaw line hardening as I felt the fire zip through my veins. I was beyond annoyed.
She’s 14 and yesterday I had an extremely busy day of running here and there and never a moment to breathe. I stopped at home to pick something up before heading out on another errand when I asked her, could you please clean the basement windows since you’re home?
She’s very obedient and a fantastic support to me, always responsible and helpful, with an occasional eye roll (getting past age 13 taught me that there’s ALWAYS better days ahead).
And she did.
But as I glanced over in a hamstring hold I’ve never seen a window quite like that. It was as if she had sprayed the cleaner then walked away for 5 Minutes and when it was almost dry had smeared it everywhere.
I know, it’s a little, inconsequential thing, something so dumb to be annoyed at, but this has been a crazy week and sometimes that makes me annoyed at dumb stuff.
But then something happened.
Moments of Grace
My heart softened.
I hadn’t prayed for it or tried to make an effort to be calm.
Peace just came.
Maybe because I’ve been trying to be better? Naaaah…
Maybe because I never miss my morning prayers? Nah….
Or maybe it’s just that heaven knew I needed a little grace so that I could offer the same.
Sometimes heaven grants such clearly defined moments of grace being offered so we can learn to do the same.
A Time to Teach
She comes down every morning and I say a prayer for her before leaving for school. I don’t know why. Last year it felt very important and urgent so I listened and started doing it.
The door creaked open 15 minutes later and there she was, perfectly darling and totally ready for school.
I asked her to lay down, and reassured her that this was my fault, not hers. I asked her to tell me what she saw in the window.
“Lots of blurs and smudges.”
Then I said, I didn’t teach you well enough, it’s my fault, today I’ll clean them with you and it will be ok.
We are Doing Pretty Ok
I could have done it myself, but I think we both needed the moment of softness and she will one day care for her home because I did it with her and maybe care for her children with the same grace we felt today.
And if cleaning windows together is the worst moment of correction, well we are doing pretty ok the two of us…