I tell you a lot about my life, but I don’t often tell you the quiet things I’m saying in my head.
“I see you.”
Three words, repeated often.
Checking on the dinner to realize the temp had risen too high and would have burned dinner if the thought to walk to the smoker hadn’t come.
“I see you.”
We bought an investment property last year that has too many flat out miracles to list.
“I see you”
A perfect moon after a really long day and this sign that the world is still beautiful.
“I see you.”
The announcement that church could resume with limited numbers, and this huge reminder that all this time I’ve forgotten to be grateful we have faith and a church to attend, appliances that work (well some, story to come), healthy immediate family when so many extended and friends are fighting for their lives-literally. And so on.
“I see you.”
I don’t think gratitude gets talked about enough and it certainly doesn’t need to be some long drawn out, perfect prayer, it just needs that twinkle in your eye, a head tilted upward just at the right acknowledging angle and three words with a humble, loving, and nodding smile,
“I. SEE. YOU.”
Heavenly Father, I see you, I see what you just did there, and thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
It Seems so Dumb that I Struggle with This, But it’s My Battle
It seems the dumbest thing to be struggling with, but it’s my battle, the one I’m so frustrated with myself about on some days.
Yesterday was a few random errands, I had to have some blood work run and needed to return a gift to target. Then there was bike riding with the kids all afternoon (and we all know the anxiety I felt in a moment).
So you might be rolling your eyes by now, I am too, I know someone will tell me to breathe, and I am, or to forgive myself, and I do.
Toddler-ness
The truth is, I’m incredibly impatient. Getting a toddler in the car who is always checking out the wheels or talking nonstop and can’t multitask and get buckled.
Walks are the slowest, stop every foot and dig in the dirt, oh my gosh, lol, my heart is actually getting anxious just thinking about it!!!
I told you last year, I don’t pray for patience anymore, I pray to recognize when I’m being impatient so that I can adjust.
But that wasn’t enough.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
This morning I was thinking of a story of three boys who believed in God but their king made it law to bow down and worship a golden idol.
When these boys wouldn’t do it and the king went all crazy on them, “don’t you know I can cast you into the fire?!” The boys replied with, “yes, and our god is so great he can save us or if we perish then at least we will have been true to him.”
Changed for the Better
This world is insane, but I have a God who can do anything. In fact, after the worldwide fasts things did change for the better. Angry words and hearts are what held us back again, but just because God didn’t permanently stop things doesn’t mean he can’t.
God of Miracles
And that same God, when I feel that fire burning in me, “come on, get in the car!!!!”, is just as invested in me as a mother as He is in the miracles we seek in the world.
Maybe that seems so ridiculous to some, but all I’ve ever wanted is to have a close family, one where love and snuggling up rules all things.
I’m determined to picture that king when I feel my sharpness rising or my impatience boiling and to say, “my God is a God of miracles, even a miracle with my heart and tone.” And then believe in him.
It’s not a COVID cure, but maybe strong families is a cure for the world.
