The Miracle of Adoption

Do you remember our friends that were trying to adopt? Many of you have emailed in asking for an update and we are so thrilled to share! Read on, and try not to cry, I certainly failed at that!

It is amazing how when you are waiting for something to happen, time seems to slow down. I feel this way often as I am STARVING and waiting for my food at a restaurant. You wait and wait and wait. We experienced the same thing as we anticipated for our family to grow…honestly feeling at times like we were starving and the wait was unbearable. Now, as exciting things have transpired, time has flown by and it has been almost 9 months since our last post. We probably have been forgotten, but we couldn’t pass on the opportunity to tell you about our experience that we have had since then. Perhaps the things we have gone through will give hope to someone else.

Let’s go back…

The hardest thing for me in the whole adoption process was waiting. For the first few months I would check my phone constantly, wondering if maybe a birth mother had contacted us. In fact right toward the beginning I received an email from the It’s About Love website! My computer couldn’t open it fast enough I was so excited! It took me a second to realize that it was sent by Dave, who later said he just wanted to make sure that it worked…well, it worked! As the months passed we didn’t have any contacts made. Our caseworkers asked us if we were interested in a few, but as we prayed about the situations we didn’t feel right about it. Looking back at those couple of experiences, we feel like God was protecting us from adoptions that wouldn’t have worked out. And so we waited. Six months after we were approved to adopt we were contacted by our birth mom, {L}.

From the beginning, we could feel that this {L} was sincere, fun-loving, and humble. She impressed us with her desire to know all about us, for her maturity in responding to some hard questions we asked her, and most of all for her determination to find the right family for her baby. We emailed everyday for a couple of weeks before she was ready to meet. We felt like we had become so close that we warned her that we would be giving her a hug when we saw her. And we did. I was so anxious that I brought chocolate chip cookies to the meeting—because everyone feels more comfortable when there are cookies, right!? We learned a lot about {L} and her mom. We had told her in advance to not feel any pressure to choose us, just because she decided to meet with us. Just like {L}, more than anything we wanted the right baby to come to our family—the one that was supposed to be with us, who belonged with us. By the middle of December, {L} had chosen us, after a lot of prayer on her part. I have to tell you just a little bit about {L}. In the early part of her pregnancy she had decided that she wanted to parent her baby. She had begun preparing to do all the things that she knew she would need. She changed high schools, got a job, acquired a crib, rocker, clothes, toys, blankets, etc. {L} was doing her best to be prepared for the baby. One day at church, she was a bout 28 weeks along, she felt very strongly that what her baby needed was a dad—and the birth father was not in the picture at all. {L} came to realize that this baby wasn’t meant for her, but for a family. Even in typing this I can’t help but become emotional as I think the choice she made. Right after church she began to look at couples that were hoping to adopt. The following 9 weeks we got together with {L} once or twice a week: breakfast, movie, game night with her family, dinner at our house, maternity pictures, valentine’s dinner, etc. We loved getting to know her for who she was and that we could be around during the pregnancy of our baby. As {L}’s due date drew near we were getting anxious…we had complete trust in {L}: trust that she would do what was best for the baby—even if that didn’t include us. We had developed such a great bond and friendship with {L} that we knew it would work out how it was supposed. {L} went into the hospital two days before her due date. Her birth plan was going to allow me to be in the delivery room, but that morning the doctors saw that {L} had preeclampsia and needed to have a C-section. We made it to the hospital to see {L} before she went in for surgery. And we waited. About an hour later we were able to go see {L} and our baby girl! I don’t know that I could ever express the feelings of seeing {L} exhausted, trembling, and yet at peace…and then to see this beautiful baby girl—wide-eyed, tiny, and beautiful. We stayed for most of the day before letting {L} get her rest. As we left, I couldn’t help but feel like we weren’t complete, like we were leaving part of us at the hospital. Over the next 3 days we had some sweet and difficult moments visiting {L} and baby girl.

There were moments when {L} thought that she could parent, but she realized every time she thought that and would pray, she felt sick to her stomach. Then she would pray about placing her with us and she would feel peace. On the fourth day we were to meet at the hospital, sign papers and wait…just a little longer. We knew that as soon as we saw {L}’s caseworker that {L} had signed her relinquishment papers. Again, we didn’t worry. The hardest part was thinking of the struggle and pain that {L} was going through. {L}’s caseworker soon came out and led us to {L}’s room. Again, there are no words to explain this tender moment.

We entered her hospital room with dim lights. Tears were in {L}’s and her moms eyes. We hugged them both…what else could we do? {L} placed our baby girl in my arms and I had to hug {L} and hold her…trying to convey through that hug the love I had for {L} and the support I wanted to be for her. Dave and I shared a little bit of our love and gratitude for {L}. There were some beautiful silent moments in that sacred room. Before they left we set when {L} would come visit the next week, said our “see you soon”’s and watched {L} leave.

It was done.

It was such a bittersweet moment where we were so excited to have this beautiful, sweet girl in our arms and headed to our home, but at the same time, our beautiful birth mom was grieving and in pain.

Adoption truly is the most selfless sacrifice any one could make and {L} did it with such love. We have learned more love and empathy though adoption than we ever thought possible. Our love has grown in our home, not just for our new baby girl, but also for her birth mom. We truly have been blessed by this trial…and this miracle.