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Three Things We’ve Learned from Responding with Love Online

Phew, that’s a big title and a weighted thing to say as “LOVE” isn’t really the word that comes to mind when you think about being online. But, there really are three things we’ve learned from responding with love online.

carrian cheney from ohsweetbasil.com

When you share things online you’re being more vulnerable than normal. Online has the potential of reaching the entire world when you’re used to reaching out to just a handful of people a day.

I have something called, Hyperemesis Gravidarum when I’m pregnant. Maybe you’ve heard of it. You can read what that means for me in our post, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, It’s not Morning Sickness. That post changed our lives forever and we are just lucky we survived, both the pregnancy and the hate that came from talking about it.

Hyperemesis gravidarum ohsweetbasil.com

During our pregnancy we shared this picture of me at a doctor’s appointment and explained what life was really like to be fighting for your life and your unborn baby’s life. 

Yes, I was pregnant in this photo. In fact, I was a few months pregnant. HG is a real beast to endure, and I won’t take too much time, you can read the post we linked to above to learn more about it, but our hope in writing it wasn’t to complain, but to help others better understand what some women are going through in pregnancy.

After that post, that we started to learn what opposition was awaiting us.

cade cheney

We received comments and emails telling me what an awful mother I was, how I clearly had mental issues as I had gotten myself pregnant just as an excuse to become more thin, how someone should take our children away from such a mental person because they deserved better than to have me as a mother, that I should die because I already looked like death and on and on. As we opened up people came at us with hate.

It was one of the most devastating experiences I had had on social media.

At first I wanted to fight back and defend myself but after talking to the worlds most kind hearted man, my husband he encouraged me to take a while before responding and when I did I did so with love and a beautiful thing happened.

Our readers defended us with love and compassion

When I chose to not defend myself and why I was going through a high risk pregnancy, that it certainly was not that I was crazy or an unfit mother, it felt like I was merely giving up, but it felt like the right choice, to not participate in a fight.

And then our readers defended us with love and compassion.

cade and carrian


1.  You Can Share Hope

Some wrote that they had been watching, expecting us to fight back. In fact, one particular reader said that she had been coming back every day, waiting for our response (and probably with a big bowl of popcorn because yes, drama can be entertaining) but when she read our response that was kind and full of grace we gave her hope that there was still goodness in the world. And more importantly she decided it would be up to her to look for the good things, because she realized she had chosen to only see the negative. 

Our one response touched her heart so much she promised, she will be forever be more kind and forgiving online because of our example.

cade and carrian oh sweet basil

2. Love Can Be Felt Through Words and Example

Or the husband who wrote the most tender email about his wife who was experiencing the same thing and he felt hopeless, alone and scared as no one has understood their trial. Until he read our post and our kind comments to those who were being unkind.

He felt a peace he hadn’t felt before and to let this trial be an opportunity to love her like he never has before.

Sharing kindness online helps others to feel love, and inspires them to share it. ONLINE. We aren’t even face to face and yet we are still able to reach out and literally touch and changes lives.

And what a sweet man. Can we just talk about how much this must have meant to his wife who was probably feeling broken and hopeless to have this man wrap his arms around her in all new ways.

cade and carrian oh sweet basil

3. There Are Good People Left in the World

Most of all we realized that instead of always feeling like we have to defend or fight, we can merely show love, peace and hope and when we do, others also rise to the occasion. But often they need someone to stand first, and it’s our privilege and responsibility to be the one who chooses a higher path and in doing so it lights the path for others.

PS. The One Always Matters

That may seem simple, but to the one person each of those people respond with love to, it will matter.

We are always looking to minister one by one, and this was proof that it was worth it. 

Sharing online means you must first remember this:

Who you are. And Whose you are. And then remind others of that too.

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Cozy Soup Recipes to Get You Through the Winter

About the authors

carrian feik cheney oh sweet basil

Cade and Carrian have three children and love to spend time together whether it’s vacationing or snuggled up on the couch for a good movie.

And this family especially loves to eat.

They love everything from the keep you fit and healthy to the get out your sweat pants indulgent and everything in between.

But most of all, they love the memories made, shared and treasured and it’s all thanks to a meal shared together with loved ones.

Leave a comment


  • I had the same situation, just the opposite way. I also talked to my wife and she was reassured

    • Reply
    • Thanks, James!

      • Reply
  • Did you know that Katherine, the Duchess of Cambridge (Prince William’s wife) has experienced this condition with each of her three pregnancies? She has done much to educate those of us who live in the Commonwealth about the effects of this condition. Take heart … you are not alone, and are surrounded by many who know the path you must travel with this condition.

    • Reply
    • Thank you so much, Ruth! I have heard that Katherine struggles with this, and it has been so encouraging to see her educating people on the condition! Thank you for leaving a comment and your words of encouragement!

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  • I’ve followed your website for a few years , love your recipes and always enjoyed your Posts concerning your family life . I remember your posts concerning your last pregnancy and how difficult it was and was shocked to hear you Share the reactions you experienced! I thought you both were very brave to Share your experience and my heart just aches from all the negativity you and your husband and I’m guessing your girls received. This was bullying plain and simple!!  I felt very disheartened  but I think you handled the situation with grace . It’s a sad time we’re living in and I usually don’t give any attention too such negativity because that’s what they want !! 

    • Reply
    • Donna, That is such a kind thing to say. Thank you so much for standing with us and being so kind. xoxo

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  • My husband and I volunteer at a pregnancy center and teach people who unexpectedly find themselves pregnant what is going on with their bodies and how to deal with it. Our director told us our only obligation was to love them, respect them, and tell them the truth. As human beings, we all need to learn to reflect God’s love the best we can in everything we say and do. You did the right thing and are helping others by your attitude and by sharing the information. It’s not always easy to take the high road but we usually find blessings there. Don’t let the “Negative Nellies” get you down.

    • Reply
    • Oh Cindy, what a wonderful thing you both are doing. I’m certain you’ve touched so many lives and clearly you care more about the heart than anything else. I’ve learned what a gift that is in people. Keep doing what you’re doing. 🙂

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  • I rarely comment on anything, but I hope you listen to the people who love you – at home and online instead of those who spread hate. Good luck as you go forward!

    • Reply
    • Thank you Kathy, that’s so kind of you and we hope to hear from you more. 🙂 xoxo

      • Reply

Cozy Soup Recipes to Get You Through the Winter