No House, No Baby, No Direction
We began packing up our home, first by taking everything down off of the walls. Things we could live without and were easy to put away. Room by room was packed, and it became increasingly hard to ignore that we were packing without a place to move to.
See Part 1 before you read today so you’re all caught up.
Every day was exactly the same. I’d get up, read my scriptures, workout, get the kids moving and pack something away. I looked legit crazy.
I’d ask for boxes and people would say, are you moving?!
But I was praying. I was showing my faith. Building my boat. I knew God was aware of me and wanted to bless me and I wanted Him to know I had faith in that.
So I packed. Our house started to fill with boxes. And we were filling out adoption papers. Hoping and praying so much that with a move we’d also find some girl somewhere who’d let us love her sweet baby forever.
Empty Heart Full Spirit
My heart was empty and completely full at the same time. Oh how I ached to have another child just like everyone else. But ohhhh how I felt such an enabling power. I was being carried. The pain never overcame me because I was trying so hard to keep walking and choosing Him.
It felt as though we somehow were forgotten. Were we overthinking this? Lacking faith? Were we not listening and we were supposed to stay put?
How could we ever have someone trust us with their child if they saw my house 40% packed up?! They’d think we weren’t stable!
I wanted to fill a crib. I wanted to spread our wings somewhere new with more space for my family. And ohhhh how I wanted to do it in a place where He needed me.
And then He Spake
And then He finally spake. And I heard. I can hardly even write, my heart is so full and my eyes so wet.
Have any of you ever struggled to find where you were supposed to be?