Technically not homeless, but technically we also don’t have a home.
I almost want to tell you we are stressed out of our minds and in a total panic over here, at least that’s what we should be feeling. But the truth is, we made such a crazy and insane decision, one that makes absolutely no sense at all and my gosh, we are riding in the happiest, most hopeful peace I’ve ever felt.
So, with all the questions and so little time to answer why don’t I start back at the beginning and explain what’s really been going on in our lives for the past year and why we sold our home with zero possibilities for a place to rent or buy, why we threw our hearts at @utahrealestatepaige @whitneykimballrealtor and it ended up being one of the many best (and lucrative) decisions we’ve made. Ok, so it all started with Nashville…
We Were Going to Move
Well here’s a problem! I want to keep telling you our story but I don’t know how far back to go! I’ll say this, for three years now I’ve felt very strongly, more so each year that our time in Utah county was closing. By fall last year, I was certain that it would be our last Christmas in this house and I have no answer for you how I knew, I just had been listening so much over the years that it felt like clear knowledge in me, we were going to move. But where?!
We prayed a lot and then some more but nothing felt right. This last fall Cade was again in a position to move into a promotion (one we’d never felt right about before) and this time it not only felt right but certain. We were given a long, long list of places from California to Pennsylvania and Nashville to Nevada plus lots in between and we began praying.
Now don’t get all crazy here, that probably sounds like so much fun but the truth is, a long list and you get to speak up on where to move your family is a huge decision and one that we took seriously to our knees. How do you uproot your family like that? It’s scary, and exciting, wonderful and intimidating!
We expected answers and were willing to go wherever we were needed and could serve those around us, but no clear direction other than, you’ll be leaving Utah county came.
Ughhhh! I was so tempted towards discouragement!
Changing My Prayers
My parents attended the @churchofjesuschrist temple with us and I remember telling my mom that I felt in limbo, a place that’s really hard for me.
So I told her, I”m changing my prayers.
Instead of show us where, I started to pray for three things that absolutely made all the difference.
1. Where do you need us?
2. Instead of where to go will you hedge up the way and show us where not to go?
3. Please let this be something that we can involve the family in and have us all be changed for the better through. Help us all to grow closer to each other and our Savior.
Almost immediately, our secret hope of Colorado closed and that office was presented to another team member.
But I didn’t feel anything!! No crushing disappointment which was huge!! So, I moved my heart to Coeur d’Alene Idaho, my fav lake spot ever.
Almost immediately we felt it, and work confirmed it- Idaho wasn’t the place, and we were back to the drawing board.
I had no clue as a teen that life as an adult would really look like constant decisions. Even what to make for dinner sometimes pushes me over the edge. Am I right?!
One after another our list of places were being crossed off and we were feeling good to at least have a little direction but it was still a little unsettling to have no final answer.
After the longest test ever, he called from Arizona that he’d passed his licensing test and finally the gears started to turn.
We narrowed things down to either:
A. Head to Nashville
B. Wait in his job now and eventually take over his building in Orem when his boss retired.
Our willingness to go to Tennessee felt so right to let go and trust.
And then work said, “Cade we need you to find yourself a replacement.”
Immediately Cade felt like calling a friend, so with great trust and a little awkwardness we approached and said, “by any chance would you be interested in changing career paths? Like, big time?”
That story is its own miracle for another day.
One more step of faith so Cade made the call, and Nashville was officially on the table.
As soon as we had put it out there things kind of went quiet from work and we felt a little confused and deflated.
We were trying to move forward but felt stuck.
Utah it Is
So here’s the deal, I’m a planner. A doer. Not a list maker but a life happener. And it’s not like I need it to function, it’s just that I like to be efficient and have freedom to go play and be happy so if there’s tasks sitting on me I feel like I’m not free.
His company is kind of wonderful and we are loyal for forever but this was a year of him gone a lot and Peyton and I pretty much tackled life together. She was/is still a kid but I’m amazed by how she stepped up. And I think it helped the other kids follow suit.
We thought Idaho was it but quickly realized it wasn’t. One after another my planning personality was learning to be fluid and I’m so glad I didn’t push push push because Cade’s work called and told us that right when he was going for Nashville the admin in Ogden Utah was leaving and they felt strongly to keep us in Utah.
And we accepted.
So no California or Nevada. It’s not Pennsylvania, Tennessee or Idaho or even any other state on the list, and we thought for sure we were leaving the state but you guys, my dad finally found an important doctor in February, and it’s here in SLC, my family, Cade’s family, they are all out this way and in a strange way I feel like we are supposed to be near them, or kind of (they are in different states still but all west coast!)
So an older daughter set a standard and our younger daughter was about to solve a problem in one second flat. Our house…
We sold our home with nowhere to go.
No home to buy.
Not one city to look in.
No rental to move into.
No family to go live with.
Biggest mistake of our lives?
I remember rolling over in bed and whispering to Cade, “we felt it right?”
And he whispered back, “absolutely.”
We are living in a soul stretching, confusing, miraculous, beautiful, insane moment right now.
It. Is. Nuts.
Cade would be taking over the Pine View Transitional Rehab building in Ogden, Utah so a move up north about an hour is essential.
We started looking for homes that week, but with school letting out, me hosting a huge 50th anniversary party for my parents and my dad having some important medical appointments that week we should have been pumping the breaks soooo hard. But instead we felt and still feel now a
“peace that passeth all understanding.”
Cade and I felt this urgency and absolute clarity that we were to sell our home immediately. It was a little overwhelming and oh so dang confusing but never before have I felt such a push.
Claire Saves the Day
Too much on our plates hit me on night two and as we sat down exhausted our daughter was getting home from babysitting and I was feeling it.
I blurted out: “this is too much. We need an agent that’s the right fit and I don’t even know where to start!”
Claire called from the kitchen, “oh Paige that I just babysat for is an agent!”
Some would say it was a coincidence, but we know better than that.
It felt like the windows were flung open and the calmest breeze settled in. Actual peace that could be felt.
Which was important because we stepped into craziest, most unexpected tornado and @utahrealestatepaige @whitneykimballrealtor navigated us through it all. I cannot praise them enough and seriously, save their info because I would never sell a home without them (and we’ve known loooooots of agents).
In fact, they were about to do the work of 100 in just three days time without one single word from us, which was good as I sat in agony at home waiting to hear word from my dad’s doctor appointment and preparing for the party one day away.
When did we get old enough to face the reality that our parents don’t live forever?
We didn’t see a single house worth looking at in Davis County but we moved forward anyway. Because that’s what you do when you’ve felt something, you start walking. And you repeat over and over that you felt it until you no longer doubt it. This is where you step into the water with trust and stand still.
Thursday and Friday we tackled doctors, Saturday my neighbors rose up and sacrificed their day to be the most incredible friends by rescuing me and we threw the most beautiful anniversary party.
Meanwhile @utahrealestatepaige and her team were at our house putting a few touches on the home to help stage it.
By Sunday Cade and I both knew, the house was supposed to go up immediately, like as in that week, so Thursday was picked and Monday Paige had an incredible photographer sent to do photos and a virtual tour followed by a videographer and booking of a soda bar and charcuterie for the open house on Saturday. (We’ve been told a gazillion times that it was the best open house ever, so thank you @utahrealestatepaige and @whitneykimballrealtor)
It was a WHIRLWIND!
Not a Coincidence
By Thursday at 10 am, 4 days into the decision our home was listed and appointments were coming in to see the home.
And then Friday I got a knock at the door and awkwardly had no choice but to stand in a bathing suit, camera around my neck, as I was hurrying to shoot a recipe before heading to the pool.
I’ve been teased a little but I’m telling you, and Whitney can verify, I had the strangest feeling that this wasn’t a coincidence. This unexpected drop in was going to change the trajectory of our summer.
A Guy at the Door
I was in my swimsuit.
I had my little table set up with my bounce board and was just styling the raspberry white chocolate cookies to photograph when Claire awkwardly said my name, “mom, there’s a guy at the door he wants to come in and see the house.”
I had to bite my tongue tbh because my instinct was to say, “well he will need to call our agent.”
Not because I wanted to be difficult but I had a last load in the laundry, I was in the middle of a photo shoot and all of us were in swimsuits ready to head to the pool the moment I was done with the cookies. It just wasn’t a good time. Claire’s friends were all filing into the house to go with us and we needed to get out so all of the appointments to walk through the house could start showing up, plus the next day was our open house.
It was chaos.
But somehow through the crazy I had the WEIRDEST feeling.
We had listed less than 24 hours ago and had a pile of appointments already but as I rounded the corner to the front door I looked at the man and woman sitting in a truck and knew they would buy the home. So I let them in. Unannounced. Bathing suit and all.
And sure enough, by that night we had offers, theirs included.
And by Saturday evening we were saying yes, to that very one I’d felt would be it.
And looking back, especially since I had my fall apart, oh my gosh, what the heck did we do moment, I think it mattered that I’d felt that. I would need the reassurance big time 10 days later. Like, big time.
I guess we all try, don’t we? Try to trust what we’d felt. To move forward with faith. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I had a rough day of doubt on a random Tuesday, two weeks ago.
“What did we do?! We aren’t finding anything and maybe we acted too quickly, maybe we were too impulsive and didn’t think this through!!”
10 days later we were already signing our home over to someone else. Closed. Sold. Done.
And not one house on the market we were even interested in walking though.
What did we do?
So shall we chat over mistakes?
Not the Plan
It’s so funny how quickly you can go from, “We’ve got this!” to, “what the heck did we do?!”
We had planned it as best we could; we will list the house, it will take a little time to sell, then a good 30 days to close and we will have asked for a leaseback. All the while we will look and buy a home and move in so the kids have all summer to get to know new friends and register for a new school.
We sold immediately and closed 10 days later. #nottheplan
We’ve only walked through 5 homes, none of which we’ve been excited to see.
So I had my little fall apart. My, hit my knees, look up and question and wonder. I was even tempted to anger and annoyance, why did we feel to do this or had I even truly felt it?! Had we been impulsive?! Why did we sell with nowhere to go?!
Silence Everything to Hear Everything
When it hurts, you have to silence everything to hear everything.
You start back at the beginning and become still.
State the facts and allow yourself to remember and to have faith.
1. We had felt it. We had peace AND urgency to sell.
2. The buyers from out of state were there that very weekend and need a place asap. Their answered prayers were just as important as ours.
3. Monday AND Thursday the next week were a rise in interest rates and fear in the marketplace. We barely skidded into our sale before panic was hitting buyers.
4. If we were currently selling our home still there’d be additional stress.
5. Prices are lowering a bit so maybe we will even end up in a better deal than a month ago.
6. It DID feel so good and right. And there are probably other miracles we haven’t even seen yet but most of all, I know what I felt and I cannot deny- it was right to sell.
Sometimes you have to repeat because you cannot convince your mind of something your heart doesn’t believe.
Say it, feel it, repeat it until it’s a part of you.
Every day is a countdown, one day closer to the end of our leaseback and three kids relying on us, but I feel it. I feel there is a plan and a way. I feel there’s purpose in this. I’m already seeing it in our children. Something far more important to me than a home is how it’s changing us.
My movie title for my life would be, “The Wait” and I love it.