First, I acknowledge the pant leg-sock-shoe situation. #mosquitos Technically I’m a Genius. 🤭
I love camping (Cade is a good sport and goes) but I hate how I FEEL camping.
As in, my skin. 😂
It’s that sticky combination of sunscreen and bug spray mixed with a little dirt and sweat. It’s gross and I can’t wait to wash it all away but I somehow am perfectly content in it at the same time because I know the goodness of it- it’s means I’m in my happy place of peace.
And that’s perfectly how I feel about “the wait”.
That time that’s neither here nor there.
A liminal experience.
It’s actively walking. Walking from A to C and B is the bonus you get along the way.“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31Renew their strength?!
Yes, I need that!
Run and not be weary and walk and not faint?!
I need that too!
Waiting is About Changing
While you’re waiting you get the beautiful promise of being sustained and lifted but what really is the SECRET to accessing that blessing is to STOP looking up and asking for “PLEASE” and start getting to work and asking, “So now I throw my heart into, “please let this experience change me, help others and become more!”
Remember how it took 2 years to even find the house we just sold or the hyperemesis gravidarum I battled?
During those times I learned that waiting isn’t about patience, it’s about changing- our lives and those around us.
And what promises do I need to fulfill that are waiting on me in this space?
You work on those two things and it seems to me that “C” comes sooner than it could have and this time when you step over the threshold you bring “B” with you- the talents, strengths and blessings that could have come in no other way.
So, no home yet, but you better believe we are ok. We seriously trust the wait. And in fact, we embrace it because we know what comes of it.
His face says what we all felt last week.
Like legit took me an hour yesterday to write in my journal all that’s been happening, what I’m feeling and why having zero possibilities somehow has me feeling energized today.
Because life is in such commotion right now we’ve been super busy. Our only fun-ness being the national women’s soccer game like in June and some splashing around at the pool, but once July hit, it’s been work, work, work. Work to find a home to buy, which we’ve pumped the brakes on.
Work to find a home to rent, which doesn’t seem to exist.
Work to pack when we’d been planning on using movers- another story for another day.
Work to sell off half our house to fit into wherever we end up.
August 3rd is our move out date and man, I finally hit my wall of, what-in-the-world-is-this-mess?! We listened, and I’m sooo grateful we somehow sold our home so quickly but now what?!
You know the feeling right? Like, I’m doing all I can, faith-ing with all I’ve got, but everything seems stuck and there seems to be no path.
I got up early, worked out and then decided to read my scriptures on the front porch. I was one line in, sitting in the warm morning glow of the sun coming over the mountain when I got hit in the face with my first miracle/lesson of the day, and trust me it was going to be a day of them!
“He returned to his own house at Zarahemla to rest himself in the labors which he had performed.”
My heart skipped a few beats…REST.
So I did.
I sat outside and watched the kids play.
I dove into a book I’ve been dying to read.
I was still. And I think it’s why the next few days have been full of one thing after another. The women that came, the man that texted, all of it, and all of it just simply to love me. The scriptures do that for me. I speak in prayer, He speaks back to me in scripture, often the Book of Mormon. Which I’ll send you one for free if you wanna see for yourself.
But first I had to walk through a little more turmoil starting with urine. I mean, you can’t put that nicely.
And no, it wasn’t from our family.
But rest, who knew it could be so essential. So healing. So…everything.