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Fighting for Faith in the Darkness Part 17

For the full story, please read all our previous posts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16

A darkness, even a darkness which can be felt.

I know you have felt it. Whatever it is, a trial, unemployment, depression, stress, a feeling you physically have. It’s not just mental. It WEIGHS on you.

After kneeling in prayer, feeling absolutely nothing, Cade did the one thing I’ve learned is essential in receiving miracles.

Cade stood up, and got moving. In this case he opened the scriptures desperate for guidance.

A photo of Cade kissing my forehead.

From CADE :

“I came across this scripture in EXODUS 10: 21 –

‘And the Lord said unto Moses, stretch out thine hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the land of Egypt, even darkness which may be felt.’

I knew that darkness. It felt like that it was all over inside, but then it goes on,

‘And Moses stretched forth his hand toward heaven; and there was a thick darkness in all the land of Egypt, three days:

They saw not one another, neither rose any from his place for three days, BUT ALL THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL HAD LIGHT IN THEIR DWELLINGS.’

Wait, what? Even in the darkness there could still be light? And more importantly, it would be light in MY own dwelling! What hope!!

In that moment I felt Heavenly Father’s love in a powerful way, “You are my son, I am aware of you and the righteous desires of your heart. Just hold on, and look for the light in the darkness, I am making you into who I need you to become and soon you will have the things you stand in need of, but not until you have been refined.”

A photo of Cade and I smooching on a bridge.

(Shhhhhh all of these photos were taken right before we moved into this house. The thing that started this whole story and we can’t wait to get to it!!!)

We started to look for moments each day where we could see the light in our lives, we learned how to serve when you have nothing, we learned how to rely on the Lord for all things and to have faith and hope in His plan. We spent time together even if it was just making dinner with our food storage cans, which we ended up living off of for just shy of two years.

BUT we were so happy, in fact I’d say it was one of the happiest times in our lives.

And it was essential, because of what the Spirit (see our ig story for more info on what the spirit is) prompted Cade to say in a moment of desperation to survive this time.

I started a blog to share recipes with friends, random people suddenly commenting but no intention of being a business, and then Cade says, “why don’t we see if this blog could carry us through? Could we try to earn a little extra money from a blog and possibly be able to buy the basics?”

And so we did. We poured all of our energy and ten times the prayers into the blog and it became a miracle, a way to survive.

The blog became a beautiful tender mercy for sure. In fact, I remember the first time we made $100. I took ya out to celebrate for fast food because that’s all we could afford annnnnnnnnd we all came home with food poisoning 😱🤢😂😂

A photo of our family having a picnic.

The blog was growing, becoming busier and busier and Cade came home from an interview, a third interview to be honest. I was pacing the floor, our eyes met and he just nodded. He’d found steady work. I’ve never embraced anyone so tightly. I never wanted to let go.

You know how you pray and pray for things to work out and then they start to and you somehow get caught up in the new norm? We are all out and about, enjoying life, still praying hard for a job for Cade and I can remember perfectly the moment I felt like, when it comes you’d better be prepared to hold on to this story, hold on so you never forget. And you’d better be ready to walk away from the blog, no matter how big it gets or tempting it is to stay. Don’t forget you wanted to be a mother.

I can’t even describe the joy and tears that were shed.

We now had two jobs, one that was starting to take over my life. It’s just not easy living in a business owner and wife/mother role, oh my goodness it’s easy to become distracted. I was exhausted from the brutal online world. This wasn’t my dream, but when you’ve poured your whole heart, blood, sweat and desperation to survive into a business, it’s a tug of war to try to decide if you should walk away.

You see, I’ve always had the desire to be in the home and raise children. It’s what my mom did and I could see that her influence was great in our lives because she was present. I was ready to walk away from the blog, but there was one thing I had to do first…

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About the authors

carrian feik cheney oh sweet basil

Cade and Carrian have three children and love to spend time together whether it’s vacationing or snuggled up on the couch for a good movie.

And this family especially loves to eat.

They love everything from the keep you fit and healthy to the get out your sweat pants indulgent and everything in between.

But most of all, they love the memories made, shared and treasured and it’s all thanks to a meal shared together with loved ones.

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  • Hi Carrian. Your mother has been a hero of mine since eighth grade. I have been reading your blog for some time now. Your story has touched my heart. I remember talking to your mom about how difficult your pregnancies were, and kind of holding my breath waiting for that third baby to be born. It has been inspiring to read your story. ‘Thanks for sharing it.

    • Reply
    • Eleesa, I’ve heard about you my whole life! Thank you so much for totally making my day with such a sweet comment. It’s been a journey for sure but so totally worth it. And thank you for loving my momma. I happen to think she’s one of the greatest and I know how much you’ve meant to her. In fact, you’re the one she’s always told me saved her in Jr high when she was feeling so alone. You were HER hero at that awkward time of life!! Xoxo!

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